A Birthday Gift
I tend to keep track of the “new year” at my birthday. Each year, I reflect on the past year, what I’ve learned, how I’ve grown, what my challenges were, and see where I want to have a “new start”. Sometimes, I set bigger goals like a project or travel plans, but usually it’s simple intentions, like cultivating peace or kindness, things I know I can work on in my daily life.
My birthday month is August, and so I’ve been reflecting on how this past year has been for me. I’ve grown a lot, and a lot of exciting new things have happened—I opened a new wellness center with wonderful people, I’m living my dream job, hosted spiritual retreats, and have made deep connections with friends and family.
Yet amidst the joys and new beginnings were a lot of hard emotions and challenges to move through. I was challenged to practice living in the moment in a deep way, and to cultivate patience. I revisited old coping mechanisms that aren’t healthy for me and gained weight. Yet through my reflections, I’ve been able to see the gift in the challenges and revisiting these coping mechanisms—the gift was that I practiced an entirely new way of being. Instead of beating myself up or telling myself I “should” do this or that, or “make a plan”, I just stopped judging myself. The old me would have been really hard on myself, but instead, I consciously replaced judgment with compassion and unconditional love for self.
I was able to recognize and see myself in the challenges I was going through, and the old coping-mechanisms and weight gain were messengers for me, inviting me to take a deeper look at old traumas and woulds. By allowing myself to lovingly embrace the unhealthy choices I was making, I was actually acting in self-compassion.
It became easier for me to see my human journey from a higher perspective and remove myself from old programs of self-worth being dependent on a certain behavior or non-behavior.
And though I’ve thought this for many years, my own actions of self-love really hit home—I could clearly see that self-compassion, love, and acceptance is what will carry humanity in to the next phase of consciousness. I truly believe our higher consciousness is asking us to step into a level of authenticity we’ve never experienced collectively in our known history.
As long as we’ve been aware, most social groups and cultures urge humanity to think “this way or that”, to do this thing and not the other…be a part of this group and avoid that one. Yet what this has done for us humans is created a barrier of separation between our brothers and sisters on the planet, and has created a feeling and idea of separation within our own true selves. It’s like we’ve been taught to ignore the inner voice that will allow us to to take action (or non-action) as the true expression of who we really are, just so that we feel like we belong to a group.
In this past year, in my own practice of radical self-acceptance, I began to wonder if we allowed ourselves to practice this level of compassion and acceptance of self, would we cultivate an inner peace and knowing that we belong no matter what? To ourselves, the earth, to All That Is? And from this feeling of self-belonging, would we remember our connection to one another, that we DO belong, no matter our thoughts or beliefs?
Through this reflection, I am in no way disregarding what we have and are experiencing collectively, and the very real idea of separation from one another. Yet what I suggest is that perhaps the world events can be a catalyst for change to a new way of being, connecting and relating to our fellow humans. What if self-love and compassion for who we are, what we’ve done, what we think and believe, is the catalyst for compassion and acceptance of others?
For myself, I’ve experienced a radical change in accepting others who think/act/believe differently than me, and can’t help but see the correlation of the radical self-acceptance I’ve been cultivating within. Our existence on the planet, and the true purpose of being here, conscious and alive, is very much a mystery…and yet, within this mystery, there are clues to experiencing peace and joy. These clues are not how we can force our personal or group will on another, but rather accept one another with compassion.
Like Gandhi stated, what if we became what we wanted to see in the world? For me, that’s peace, love and contentment. As I’ve committed to practice self-compassion, I’ve witnessed a shift within myself I’ve never experienced—especially in a currently highly polarized world. I have more understanding and love for all humans than I have ever experienced in my short time on the planet….
From this perspective, I have hope and faith, and wonder if this could be a solution, if this could be a beginning of a new way to live, to end war and conflict, to care for one another and our earth with loving kindness?
So this new year, I will begin with a deeper acceptance of self and other, with a renewed hope for peace, practicing to the best of my ability to flow with the changes of my life in a state of compassion. In this compassion I intend to honor the stage and phase of life I’m currently in, and as it changes. I intend to continue practicing acceptance and deep compassion towards self, because I know this is a way for me to accept the earth and her people for who and where they are, with kindness and understanding.